It's that time of the year where we start to wind down, reflect, and plan for the coming new year. I don't do resolutions, I find them too limiting and often feel restrictive. In the past I have instead done invitations. For 2025, however, I am feeling called to bring things into focus and there are specific things I am focusing on in 2025.
Things I am focusing on in 2025:
Releasing attachments to expectations, outcomes, and anyone else’s actions
I have talked about this before but one of the wonderful things I learned from my yoga journey was releasing attachments. Now, in the yogic tradition this is a huge part of your path to enlightenment, which is basically you releasing all attachments (including people, possessions, and basically all remaining fucks) until you're naked, alone, and blissful meditating on top of a mountain. I'm not going so far as that and I wouldn't advise anyone else to do so. I love the journey of release but I also love healthy attachments so what I am focusing on is releasing attachments to expectations, outcomes, and other people's actions. I've been doing a lot of this and especially lately. Let me tell you, it is AMAZING. When you stop caring about all that, it's amazingly freeing and very healing on the ego. It takes a lot of self-awareness to release these attachments, though. They tend to stem from a need for control (feeling out of control), competitiveness (needing to feel worthy), and the way society has trained us on how to connect with other humans. Letting go of all of that and taking a step back to examine situations for what they ARE rather than what we WANT them to be or feel like they SHOULD be, allows us to move and respond ACCORDINGLY rather than react IRRATIONALLY because of an attachment we placed on the situation. More of that for me, please. Lots more of that.
Radical self-care, self-love, and self-awareness
I'm claiming 2025 for myself. 2024 has been a lot of putting myself on hold to care for other people and situations - and that's fine, there are seasons for good reasons and I am always happy to care for others. But, in the midst of this year, I got a little lost. Again, that's fine. I'm aware of it, and ready to reclaim myself with RADICAL self-care, self-love, and self-awareness. Self-care because for me, it's step 1 in all the things I need to do to feel well and happy (hello, I have a whole webinar about the importance of self-care!). Self-love because that is my jam and I know that self-love is a continuous action just like any other relationship in life, so I plan to focus on that a lot. Self-awareness because this is really the cornerstone of growth, in my opinion. From a point of self-awareness, we get to view things as they actually are and not the stories we tell ourselves so we don't have to face our own bullshit. I've been having a lot of moments of self-awareness that are teaching me so many things and I am really digging it. Yeah, it can be a good thing to cringe at yourself. Trust me on this one.
Exercising my Universe-given sovereignty when it comes to my body, mind, and spirit
OK I could say "God-given" but when I talk about a higher power it's the Universe for me but it's all the same energy we're talking about here. Sovereignty is something that not enough people are talking about. There's so much division and fear and putting our power into man-made institutions that make up rules we don't agree with. We give up our power because we believe these institutions have control over us. In reality though, they don't. Not complete control. We have sovereignty and can live our lives as we want to by making CHOICES. We choose to eat the shitty food our government agencies approve for us or we don't. We choose to abide by suggestions from medical and governmental agencies or we don't. I'm focusing on my sovereignty of my body, mind, and spirit rather than getting wrapped up with and obsessing about what the institutions are trying to do. I have no control over that, I only have control over how I can react, move with (or around) them, and choose. I'm not giving up my energy to fear, anger, or judgment. I choose my sovereignty.
Strengthening bonds with the amazing women in my life
An amazing thing happened after I turned 40 - I stopped engaging in friendships and relationships that no longer felt good to me. I did a lot of healing, changing, and growing after my divorce and I realized that a lot of my friendship dynamics were created for my trauma self and my healing self no longer resonated with those dynamics. So, I started nurturing the friendships that did feel good and sought out new relationships more in alignment with my life and outlook. I take a step back and look at the amazing women I have surrounded myself with and it makes me so happy and proud to have these women in my circle and to be a part of theirs. No competition, no jealousy, no behind the back talk. Just pure friendship, support, and love. And I want more of that so I am going to be intentional about strengthening the bonds with these women and see what magic, growth, and joy we can create with one another.
Being super intentional with my time to better achieve my goals
I am not going to lie to you, I spent wayyyyyyy too much of 2024 scrolling mindlessly. It was a tough year and I was needing an escape and I am OK with coming clean and admitting that. That escape helped me get through all that was going on but it didn't actually get me anywhere. So this coming year I want to be super intentional with my time so I can get back to my goals. Even if that means time blocking and lists and all the things that sound so unsexy and uncreative. As a Virgo, that's the shit that works for me. I am also going to be more intentional about my multitasking and why I do that. Did you know that the urge to pick up your phone and scroll while you're on a work call or watching a movie or someone is talking to you is actually your body so overpumped with cortisol that your brain can't calm down and focus? I'm literally doing it now as I write this. Checking my phone, looking at my email. So, being super intentional with my time includes taking steps to be more focused so I am not perpetuating my stress response and avoiding the tasks at hand, which will allow me to better achieve my goals.
Incorporating more pleasure, play, and passion into my life
My family jokes that I am the "no fun zone" because I don't like to play sports or games or do anything that most people consider fun activities. I've become so intent on taking care of everyone and everything that pleasure, play, and passion have taken a backseat. Who am I kidding? They're locked in the trunk with the spare tire! I realize that I spend so much time DOING that my relaxation and enjoyment has become doing NOTHING or something passive, like watching tv or scrolling, than doing something stimulating and fun. The burnout of life has put out my fun fire. So my mission is to figure out how to reignite the fun fire in me and do more of that.
Choosing happiness, peace, and love above all else
All of the above focuses will help put me on the path to achieving this final one, but I wanted to call it out specifically because it's important. Choosing happiness means being intentional about my time, my circle, my activities, and everything that brings me joy. Choosing peace is something I have been doing a lot more lately and it has been a wholly liberating experience. I don't want conflict if I can help it. I don't care what people think or say about me anymore. Whether it's good or bad, a fabrication or the truth. It doesn't matter and its none of my business. Choosing love is about looking past expectations and petty drama but also moving toward what feels like love to me. Whether its people or passions, I'm choosing love. I'm not spending my time on this earth getting swept up in drama, political debate, and unnecessary strife. I choose peace. I choose love. I choose happiness. For myself, for my family, for my friends. I mean, don't fuck around with me because you WILL find out, but only if absolutely necessary.
Here's to an amazing 2025! What are you focusing on this coming year?