Any successful and happy person will tell you that they didn't get there with negative self-talk, overwhelming doubt, and needing everyone in their lives to stand behind their dream or their vision. They did it by believing in themselves, which is why I firmly believe that being your own cheerleader is crucial for creating and living your best life. But why? How?
Let's just talk about the law of attraction and manifestation right now. Words, thoughts, and actions matter because they carry vibrational frequencies that can affect the energy of a great deal of things. So we know that when our thoughts and our words and our actions are in alignment with the things we want, that energy is projected into the universe as a signal that we are ready and open to receiving those things that we want. That's how the law of attraction words. The vibrations that we are emitting (through thoughts, words, and actions) are a beacon or magnet for things that match or harmonize with those vibrations.
So when you are saying to yourself "I can't do it," or "There's no way this is going to happen for me," or other negative self-talk, it is a message to the universe that you're not ready, that you don't want it, that it's not for you. And it may never come because you and the universe will BELIEVE what you are saying and act accordingly. But that's not actually what you want.
It's so easy for us to turn to our best friends and be like "Girl, you've got this!" or "You deserve this!" or "This is absolutely going to happen for you." We have no problem doing that because we want the absolute best for our dear friends, right? Turn that energy right back around and become the cheerleader to yourself that you are to the people you love. This will send the right vibrations to the universe to help deliver your best life to you.
But there are other reasons to be your own cheerleader. Sometimes we don't always have those friends or hype people cheering us on. This could be because people don't understand what we are going through or trying to do. It could be because we don't have as strong of support circle as we would like. Or it could be that our struggles, goals, and actions are more private and no one is witnessing them. It's so important to hype ourselves up and cheerlead our progress when we can't or don’t want to turn to someone else so that we can give ourselves the validation we aren't getting from outside sources.
As humans, we often seek validation from outside sources - society, family, community, friends. It's one of the ways we learn to function within whatever culture we grow up and live in. Society loves to let us know that we need outside validation, but that's because society wants compliance and not individuality. When you validate yourself and cheer yourself on through your unique path, you no longer need validation from others and therefore will not be dissuaded from what YOU want for yourself. Outside validation is often what others want from and for you so be sure to champion yourself so that you're not distracted.
But how do you become your own cheerleader? Several ways:
Talk to yourself. Don't laugh and go reread the part about words and thoughts having a vibration. I will find myself in deep conversation with myself and often turning my negative self-talk into a hype moment. If you catch yourself thinking or saying "I can't," go ahead and INTERRUPT that thought and turn it around with "I know sometimes it feels like I can't but I really want this and I can do this. I am capable and I am worthy."
Make a list and acknowledge your progress. You don't have to be at the finish line. You can acknowledge your achievements and your progress whenever and wherever you are in your journey. When we stop to catalog our actions, it's often eye opening to see what we are doing that we don't even realize. Recognizing that progress and saying "Wow, I did that," is such a boost to your self-confidence and self-esteem. Yes, even if it is just "I did not lose my shit today." Celebrate ALL the wins, no matter how small. Keep doing this, keep a running list. It will show you that yes, you can, and motivate you to continue.
Write yourself hype letters. I share this all the time but one of my absolute FAVORITE things to do is send a letter to my future self. I use a website called futureme.org and I write an email to myself and schedule it to be delivered at a specific time when I know there is a milestone or something that I will need some words of encouragement. Inevitably, I forget all about the letter once I hit send and then when I get that email 6 months or whenever down the line, I am so overjoyed because that letter hyped me up so well and it just makes my day. You know when you get a note from someone saying how proud they are of you and how happy they are for you? BE THAT PERSON FOR YOU. It's amazing.